


The Heaviness We've Known

by kiapet



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Divorce, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Parent-Child Relationship, Step-parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:15:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28675065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiapet/pseuds/kiapet
Summary: Patton had a lot of ideas for what he might do for his weekend by himself, but having his ex-husband’s son show up on his doorstep sure wasn’t one of them.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Parental Moxiety, divorced moceit, parental anxceit - Relationship
Comments: 18
Kudos: 84





	The Heaviness We've Known

**Author's Note:**

> Me: man, all these jokes about Moceit being the divorced parents of the mindscape are so funny and true  
> Brain: make it angst  
> Me: what?  
> Brain: _make it angst_

Patton had a lot of ideas for what he might do for his weekend by himself, but having his ex-husband’s son show up on his doorstep sure wasn’t one of them. 

It was supposed to be a quiet night, just Patton and his empty house. It’s the twins’ week with Janus, which wouldn’t be so bad except that Logan is off at another one of his conferences. Patton knows they’re a great opportunity and all- especially considering the university usually pays for them- but do there really need to be so many? 

But Patton should support his little brother’s career, so he told Logan it was fine, he’d just watch rom-coms and catch up on sleep. He’s settled in to do just that when he is interrupted by the hammering at his door. 

“Hey,” Virgil says when the door opens, giving a lopsided smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Can I come in?” 

Patton blinks. “Oh, um, of course,” he says, and Virgil barely waits for the response before he’s stalking past Patton and into the house. 

It seems like every time Patton sees Virgil the boy has shot up another few inches. His hair, purple this time, is half-hidden under a hoodie pulled up against the spring night’s chill, and as Patton watches he heaves a bulging backpack off one shoulder and onto the foyer floor. 

“Virgil,” Patton says, “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? Janus never told me he was going to-”

“He didn’t bring me,” Virgil snaps, kicking his shoes off with more force than seems necessary. His socks are mismatched, as if put on in a hurry. “I came here myself.” 

“You _walked_ all the way here?” Patton says. “Virgil, that’s not safe.” 

“I took a bus.” Virgil flops down onto the stairs. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m fine.” 

Patton opens his mouth to argue, but a closer look at Virgil makes him hesitate. The boy is slumped against the wall, his hand rubbing up and down his arm as if trying to soothe himself. Virgil isn’t one to risk something like this for no reason- whatever happened, it must have seriously freaked him out. 

Patton sinks down to the stairs next to him. 

“Talk to me,” he says softly. 

Virgil turns his face to the wall. “I just- I can’t stay there anymore, alright? I _can’t._ ” 

“At home?” 

Virgil nods. 

Patton shifts so he’s kneeling in front of Virgil and places a hand on his knee. 

“Virgil, could you look at me for a moment?” 

Virgil nervously turns to face him, and Patton meets his eyes. 

“I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me, alright?” 

Virgil nods again, his eyes widening. 

“Did your dad hurt you in any way?” 

Virgil reels back in shock. “What? No!” 

Patton feels his shoulders sag in relief, and he sits heavily back down on the stairs. 

“Okay. That’s- that’s good.” 

Virgil runs a hand through his hair. 

“Look, it wasn’t anything like that. I just... we were arguing _again_ and I couldn’t stand it anymore so I just packed up my things and- and left. And I’m not going back. I want to stay with you.” 

His voice cracks at the last part, and for a moment Patton has a flash of the Virgil he first met all those years ago- a timid, gap-toothed little thing who had glared at Patton fiercely from behind his father’s leg. It had taken all of two seconds for the kiddo to lodge himself securely into Patton’s heart; the whole step-dad thing hadn’t seemed to matter, back then. 

Then his marriage fell apart, and suddenly it mattered a whole heck of a lot. 

“Kiddo...” Patton says, pained. 

Virgil jumps to his feet. “Look, I won’t be, like, obnoxious or anything, all I really do is listen to music in my room anyways, and I know taking care of a kid is fu- is freaking expensive but I can get a job and I babysit the little terrors all the time so I can do that here and-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Patton says, knees creaking as he also stands, “None of that. I’d love to have you live here. But I’m not sure Janus would approve.” 

Virgil scowls. “He can go choke for all I care. I’ll never know what the hell someone like you saw in that _bastard._ ” He spits the last word out, eyes flashing. 

“Now kiddo,” Patton admonishes, “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but there’s no need to use that kind of language. He is still your father.” 

Patton knows it’s the wrong thing to say when Virgil’s face shutters closed, shoulders hunching as he draws back into his hoodie. 

“Whatever _Dad,_ if I wanted a lecture I would’ve stayed home.” 

Patton holds back a flinch at the mocking title. Virgil doesn’t mean it, he reminds himself. The kiddo’s just having a hard time right now, and Patton’s the nearest target. 

He forces a smile onto his face. “Well, this is a cookie situation if ever I saw one. Gimme a sec.” 

Patton goes into the kitchen and grabs his cookie tin, the one Virgil used to teasingly call his “old person box”. He brings the tin into the living room along with a jug of milk and some glasses, laying everything out on the coffee table. 

A slight smile pulls at the corner of Virgil’s mouth as he runs a hand over the tin. “I didn’t know you still had this”. 

“Of course!” Patton says seriously. “Cookies are a vital part of any household.” 

He nudges the tin closer to Virgil, giving him a wink. “Go ahead, take as many as you want. I won’t tell on you.” 

Patton keeps up a steady stream of idle chatter as he and Virgil drink milk and eat more cookies than is probably healthy. Finally Virgil lays the cookie he’s nibbling down and glares at it like it’s the source of all his problems. 

“You’re going to tell my dad, aren’t you.” It isn’t a question. 

Patton sighs. “I’ve got to, kiddo.” 

He holds up a hand to forestall Virgil’s protest. “I know you’re not on good terms with him right now, but he’s still your legal guardian. Keeping you here without his okay is kidnapping, and I’d rather not lose our visits.” 

Patton can see Virgil’s shoulders rising nearly to his ears, the boy retreating into himself despite all of Patton’s efforts to draw him out. 

Patton smiles again in what he hopes is a comforting expression. 

“I’ll just call and talk to him, alright? We’ll try to work something out.” And maybe Janus will be able to tell him what the heck is actually going on. 

He reaches forward to pat Virgil’s shoulder, freezing and withdrawing when Virgil pulls away from the touch. 

“Why don’t you finish your milk and cookies, alright? I’ll be quick.” 

Patton carries his own glass back into the kitchen and then reluctantly pulls out his cell phone. The number isn’t in his contacts, but he still knows it by heart. 

“Hello?” a familiar voice says after the first ring. 

“I have something of yours,” Patton says. 

Janus hums, nonchalant. “I take it Virgil arrived safely then?” 

It’s been a while, but Patton still recognizes Janus emotionally deflecting when he hears it. He put on his Dad Voice, perfected over years of dealing with the twins. 

“What’s going on here, Janus?” 

A sigh. “There’s been a... slight disagreement.” 

Patton runs a hand down his face. “I take it he ran away? I can take him back, but first let me-”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Janus says flatly. 

“Please tell me you didn’t _throw him out.”_

“Of course not!” Janus hisses. “You of all people should know I would _never.”_

“Of course I do,” Patton says, “But what am I supposed to think here, Jan? Nothing about this situation looks good.” 

Janus sighs again, heavier this time. “I’m aware.” 

Patton waits as the line goes silent, Janus clearly thinking over his next words. Finally he says, smooth and matter-of-fact, 

“Virgil has made it quite clear that I am a terrible excuse for a parent and living with you would be preferable to our current arrangement in every way.” 

His voice takes on a bitter edge. “It must be comfortingly easy to idolize someone when you only see them at their best.” 

Patton’s stomach drops. “Janus, I’m so sorry, I never meant to-”

“Oh, do be quiet.” Patton can almost hear Janus’ dismissive hand wave. “It’s hardly your fault he’s behaving like a naïve child.” 

Patton winces at that. 

“Nevertheless, while I absolutely _adore_ Virgil’s current actions, he’s old enough to make the choice of guardians for himself. Of course, if you are unable or unwilling to provide for him I will pick him up immediately, but-” 

A note of vulnerability creeps into his voice. “I think this might be what he needs, right now.” 

Patton’s heart clenches. 

“Of course,” he says softly. “He can stay as long as he wants.” 

Janus lets out a relieved breath. “Thank you.” 

“Janus,” Patton says hesitantly, “I’m not entirely sure what’s going on, and I know it’s not really my place, but, if you need someone to talk to...” 

“That won’t be necessary,” Janus says, and it’s the sound of a wall slamming back into place. “Virgil should have an overnight bag with a change of clothes and his anxiety medication. I’ll bring over the rest of his things tomorrow.” 

Patton closes his eyes against a familiar pain. “Alright. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” 

“I guess you will.” 

The silence stretches between them, raw and gaping. 

Then, so quiet Patton almost thinks he imagined it: “Take care of him?” 

Patton smiles sadly. “With everything I have.” 

“Thank you, Patton.” 

The line goes dead. 

Patton leans his head against the wall for a moment and lets himself breathe. He turns when he hears Virgil’s footsteps, hastily scrubbing at his eyes and putting on a bright smile. 

“Looks like you’ll be living here for a bit, kiddo! You can stay in Logan’s room for now.” 

“I’m sure he’ll be happy about that,” Virgil quips, smiling slightly as he tries and fails to feign cool nonchalance. He looks so much like his father that Patton nearly bursts into tears again. 

He winks instead. “That’s what he gets for going off sailing!” 

Virgil raises one eyebrow. “Sailing?” 

Patton grins. “You know, since he has that scholar- _ship_!”

Virgil’s smile comes out completely and he quickly covers it with one hand, only managing to make himself look more adorable in the process. 

“Guess I’ll move my stuff up, then,” he says, grabbing his bag and dashing up the stairs. 

“Don’t touch the chemistry sets!” Patton calls after him. 

This could be good for both of them, Patton thinks, smiling as he hears Virgil rummaging above. The house has seemed so much emptier since his baby brother went and grew up on him- not that Logan hasn’t always acted like someone ten years Patton’s senior, he thinks fondly. And of course, any time he gets to spend with Virgil is a blessing. 

Virgil’s footsteps are slower coming down the stairs, and they come to a halt as he reaches the bottom and nervously meets Patton’s gaze. 

“So... what happens now?” 

“What happens now is that I’m ordering pizza and then we’re watching a movie,” Patton says, holding up his phone. “What toppings do you want?” 

Virgil’s nervous expression resolves into a smirk. “Hawaiian.” 

“Heresy, from my own stepson!” Patton gasps, letting a hand fly to his breast. 

Virgil snickers, and this time he doesn’t pull away when Patton closes the distance between them and draws him into a hug. He’s so much taller than Patton remembers, but despite everything he's still Patton’s little boy. 

“It’s gonna be alright, kiddo,” Patton whispers. “I’m here for you.” 

Virgil’s arms tighten around him. 

“I know, Dad. I know.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my first fanfic in the Sanders Sides fandom! 
> 
> I have more ideas for this universe so I might write more about it in the future, though I can't promise anything. I see this as endgame Moceit with the family resolving their issues and coming back together, though it will take time (and therapy) to get to that point.
> 
> Title from "Heirloom" by Sleeping At Last


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